Voices of Integrity
PODCAST
A podcast about Voices Of Integrity for Marriages - Ideal Husband
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Specific Topics
What Makes An Ideal Husband ~ Part 1
" Who thinks about what it would take to be an ideal husband, women or men? If you said women you may be right ... but ... think about it. Who should be thinking about it? "
Perfect Husband
Solution?
This podcast is interesting as we initially hear from a couple of women their thoughts ... and they are some great thoughts. What may be surprising is that we hear from a man on this and he comes up with over 70 things. Yep ... over 70 things he feels are needed to be the ideal husband.
His list took him over three years to write out and he's still working to master the list after 40 years of marriage. He actually built a 25 year value transfer system for his seven children to seek to instill these values into them.
Husband's do NOT shy away from this or be intimidated by this. It's a journey not a destination. Let's not focus on the 70+ values but let's start out with something simple ... a couple's personality survey.
Man ... why is it that women tend to focus more on having an amazing marriage and me struggle to read books, struggle to do surveys, write things down, be accountable ... etc.?
Audio Podcast
Your wife would most likely like to do the above survey together but may not even want to ask out of how you have responded in the past. If you're not willing to take the survey, write down what you think makes a great husband and ask your wife what she thinks makes for a great husband ... please do yourself, your wife and everyone around you and don't SAY you are a great husband. It's interesting, isn't it, where husband's that use WORDS to convince themselves, their wives and others that they are great husbands ... well ... usually aren't. Great husbands DO far far far more than they SAY.
Video Podcast
What Makes An Ideal Husband ~ Part 2 - The Happy Wife
" So ... what did you as a husband / wife think about Part 1? If you're a wife and you can't get your husband to listen with you ... well ... we don't need to tell you that you have a problem in your marriage. "
Perfect Husband
Solution?
If you're a wife and you believe you have a problem in your marriage and your husband doesn't ... well ... not to be harsh, but the challenge is that your husband is getting what he wants to get in your marriage ... and you're not.
When will this change? Sadly, it likely won't change until either your husband stops getting what he wants ... OR ... he has a change of heart.
We won't say that you're not a part of the problem as a wife, as there is always some type of mutual contribution, but we will say that the bulk of the issue may rest with your husband, sad to say. You can lead a horse / husband to water, but can't make him drink ... but ... you can put salt in the oats. :-)
What is salt for your husband to get him to listen to Part 1 and/or do the spouse personality survey? Well ... for many men, let's just be honest ... It's sex. When we say sex, we're not just talking sex, sex but what we call TJJS, Tarzan, Jane, Jungle Sex.
Audio Podcast In Development
We won't go into detail about TJJS, but hopefully you both as a married couple, know what TJJS is. Many couples have found that the book, "The Act Of Marriage" has been a big help in the sexual area.
But ... what if he's not interested and / or motivated by this, then what? In this podcast we talk about what are other levers ... things which are good and fair for a wife to use to help her husband do something that he seems dug in and resistant to do?
Hmmm ... maybe the direct approach might work? :-) "Honey, I would like you to listen to / watch a 30 minute podcast about marriage with me and then have a 15 minute conversation to share your thoughts with me. This means a lot to me. What would it take for me to get you to do that with / for me?"
Video Podcast In Development
Summary:
Which of these four shapes would you tend to like the most? A cube, a pyramid, a wavy line or a ball? Which of these four things would cause you the most frustration in any area of life ... Out of Order, Out of Control, Boring / Not Fun, Conflict with others?
If you chose the Ball and/or Conflict with Others, you likely will be the amiable personality. What does that mean? It may mean that one of your strengths might be your concern and compassion for people ... and maybe a weakness you may have is ... well ... your concern and compassion for people. See ... our greatest strength, is often our greatest weakness and our greatest weakness is our greatest strength misapplied. It's taking our strength too far. As we learn more about ourselves ... we better understand others as well.
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This Podcast will encourage you and help you heal!!!
This Podcast will encourage you and help you heal!!!
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