Voices of Integrity

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PODCAST ~ Mind Models
Voices Of Integrity - Mind Models

Why will Life GPS mobile web app help me?

Are you looking for answers / solutions?

What is the biggest challenge you are facing in any area of your life or marriage?  If someone ... anyone were to help you in any area of your life or marriage, what would you love help on?  
Married couples around the world are finding this free mobile web app to assist them to better understand themselves, their spouses and others around them.  This app helps them to "get into flow" and come together as one heart, one mind to be able to not only do life together, but to have the marriage that we dream of.  There is not only hope for having a good marriage, but there is passion and excitement for having the marriage of our dreams.
Analytic

Out Of Order

Are you drawn to the cube and/or do you not like when things aren't done properly and in order?  Life GPS will help others to better understand you and you will learn to better connect with others you may be frustrated with.

"Ready, Aim ... check, check check."

Driver

Out Of Control

Are you drawn to the Pyramid and/or do you dislike when things are out of control?  Life GPS will help others to better understand you and you will learn how to help others to learn to control their own lives so you don't have to clean up after others.

"Fire, Aim ... 'Are we ready?'"

Amiable

Conflict With Others

Are you drawn to the Ball and/or do you dislike conflict with others?  Life GPS will help others to better understand you and you will learn how not to fear conflict.

"Are we all ready?  Are we sure?"

Expressive

Boring / Not Fun

Are you drawn to the Wavy Line and/or do you dislike things which are boring or not fun?  Life GPS will help others to better understand you and you will learn how to have more fun in your life.

"We're ready!  Fire ... Aim?"

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The Voices of Integrity Podcast caters to visionary individuals, covering a wide range of diverse subjects.

Personality Types & Mental Health

The questions we ask, the questions we answer, how we answer the questions and what questions we tend to try to ignore tell us a great deal about ourselves and may reveal a great deal about how our mental health is currently and will be in the future.  

We all have been given our personalities ... "Our Bent" from  how we were created in the womb,  through how we were raised and our life experiences. 

The diagram to the right reveals what some of the common mental health issues are with each personality type.  

Hmmm ... this is interesting, isn't it?  Imagine ... learning about how we could identify our mental health challenge BEFORE they brought great harm to us and those around us.

What if ... we're thinking about mental health in the wrong way?

What if how we think causes us pain, hurt and trauma ... actually gives us energy, power and passion?  

What if ... The Amiable actually enjoys conflict because it gives them a chance to be a peacemaker and the Analytic loves when things are done wrong, as it gives them a chance to be a hero?  What if the Expressive loves boring as it gives them a chance to show how exciting they are and the Driver loves when things get out of control because is gives them a chance to fix problems?  

Take a look at the above list and see which one's we may see in ourselves and what this self-awareness may mean to us, our spouse and those around us.

Think about it ... "Does it seem that with each possible weakness" mental health issue that there is an opposite strength that goes along with this weakness?"   If this was the case, what would this mean?  

Might it mean that our greatest strength is our greatest weakness and our greatest weakness is our greatest strength taken too far?  If this were the case, why would we take a strength and take it too far?   Is it possible that, we are given strengths ... we value those strengths for some period of time but then pride / ego seep in and we think we're the reason for the strength?  Is it possible that this happens without us even realizing it ... where it sneaks up on us ... and we get prideful / overconfident and then crash and burn?"

Is it possible that we are a poor stewards of what we have been give?   

Quantum Feeling Model

Are feelings important?   Of course they are ... but, maybe not the way we think they are.  Think about it ... when we have physical pain, what do we learn from that physical pain?   We learn that there is something that is not right with us.  Physical pain doesn't reveal that something is wrong with others, it represents that something is wrong with us.  

If feelings and emotions are similar to physical, in the mental world, then our feelings don't reveal things about others, but feelings reveal something that is wrong or maybe "off" with us.

Are we seduced by entitlement?   Did we think life was going to be easy?  Do we think that we're nice to everyone else so others should be nice to us?  

Do we think people should be treated a certain way ... (Amiable) and you know, that way is the way that we think people should be treated?  The way we think others should be treated?  Which when you think about it that way, our entitlement falls into self-righteousness where we think we're smarter, better, more caring or loving than others.

If this doesn't get what we want, then we seem to fall into being a victim.   When we think about it ... we as adults, it seems, often are no different than small children.  

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Hmmm ... that would be self-righteousness.  Do we seek evidence, everywhere to support our perspective and in doing so, reveal that our hearts are the same as those we tend to think we see in others?  Do we slip into being self-righteous ... where we feel, and don't even realize that we're feeling entitlement and self-righteousness which often quickly leads to being a victim?   

What are the results of these three feelings?  Depression, anger and bitterness.  

What are the vaccines to each of the three of these?

Entitlement ~ Thankfulness ... When we are thankful it helps us to see all the amazing blessings that we have.  We don't become self-centered or consumed and thankfulness will prevent us from moving into Self-Righteousness.

Self-Righteousness ~ Humility ... Saying we are humble doesn't make us humble.  Often ... those we think are the most humble who act humble, may be the most self-righteous and those who seem like the are the most arrogant might be, the most humble.  A lot of people feel good about what we do and we feel good ... feeling so many feelings and that often leads to being self-righteous when someone questions us or asks us a hard question.  

Victim ~ Ownership ... How many times, do we struggle with taking personal ownership and feel that others have hurt us, been unfair to us and never even ask what they did to hurt us?  We often surround ourselves with people, who will tell us what we want to hear and tell our side of the story and poison or destroy those around us who dare to question or challenge us.  

How Various Personalities Are Vulnerable

Analytic ~ Cube & "Out Of Order"

Vulnerable to being OCD, fixated on the smallest details and miss the big picture.  Can be defensive, have challenges in taking ownership and often struggles with ego & self-righteousness.

Driver ~ Pyramid & "Out Of Control"

Vulnerable to being perceived as being abusive, controlling and overly aggressive.  Can overreact to their perception of things being out of control and often do not realize how powerful they can come across to others.  Often these personalities are the most vulnerable but seem like they are the least vulnerable.  

Expressive ~ Wavy Line & "Boring and/or Not Fun"

Vulnerable to being a bit crazy, doing risky things, coming across as flippant, dismissive and cocky.  Vulnerable to making rash decisions, making mistakes due to not having all the details.

Amiable ~ Ball & "Conflict With Others"

Vulnerable to being taken advantage of and taking advantage of others and not realizing it.  Due to fear of conflict they can make things far worse because they do not address things quickly.  So focused on people that often tasks don't get done and/or allowing people to take advantage of use and those around us.

How Do We Change At A Heart Level?

How do we know we truly understand?  We DO ... We Change!

Internalization ~ The deep feeling or sense, the embedding of something directly into our very DNA.  
We are seeking to work together to learn how to help people / couples to INTERNALIZE things faster.  The faster we INTERNALIZE things, the faster we achieve CLARITY as to the type of marriage we both desire, the faster we SEE success, the faster we learn to THINK differently and the faster we DO, or take action.  
Internalization
Often, in our marriage, we say "I get it" when in fact we actually think we get it, but we really do not.  What individuals are missing is the Natural Law of The NEXT Dimension Principle.  It helps us to SEE that "Yes" we do "get it" at our current way of thinking but there is a whole new dimension, The NEXT Dimension where if we are humble or curious like a small child we will jump through the Dimensional GAP that maybe one spouse senses or feels the marriage is in, but the other one does not.  
If we are the type of spouse that TALKS a lot ... has a lot of words, says a lot of things ... well ... we may be a talker and not a DOER and that can burn out a marriage.  Often these types of spouses, just wear down their spouse ... give the impression to others they are working so hard, trying so much and think they change, but maybe not very much.  If the marriage does end, these types of people will become a victim and work to get everyone on their side to feel sorry for the person.  They will then become self-righteous, as they act humble, use a lot of words which they think convey humility and actually eventually believe it in their hearts ... but maybe not so much.  What they never seem to realize, to be able to internalize is that they are entitled and share a lot of words, every chance they get to help their spouses to see that "Mistakes were made ... but not by me."
Another good book is "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and helps to understand Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD.  What's interesting is that the spouse who has the BPD will almost never read the book.  It's like ... they have imposter syndrome ... and somehow, in their minds, they believe that is a good thing and have data to back it up.  Meanwhile the BPD's spouse continues to suffer and questions if they are the one who has the issues.  The BPD is a master and the 9 D's to distraction of others.   ~ click here
Time Wasters
We waste so much time in this area ... and never even think about it.  

What is it?   

It's the words we speak.
When we learn to be intentional as to WHAT and WHY we are saying something and actually give consideration to if what we are saying has value or if there was something better we could share ... we will see our lives change.
If you say ... "That seems like a lot of work." or "That doesn't sound fun" ... well ... not to be harsh but if we think this, we may both be lazy and selfish.
People who are lazy and selfish tend to have challenges in having deep relationships and often are not very happy and feel they are not fulfilled.   The reason we have feelings like this ... is ... well ... because it's often true.  Taking medication may help to change the feelings ... but doesn't do anything to change the truth.  We can feel good, in the short term ... but we are still lazy and selfish.
"10 Reasons Why Someone Talks"
We as human beings often seem to not think about the words we use to speak or why we are saying what we are saying.  We waste words and often talk about things that have very little value.   
  • 1. Clueless ~ Don’t actually know why they are talking. They just talk.
  • 2. Ego ~ To impress others. To make themselves feel or look good.
  • 3. Seduce ~ People want to seduce you into thinking the way they think.
  • 4. Educate ~ People don’t think you know what they know so they feel a need to explain.
  • 5. Connect ~ People feel more connected by talking so they talk more to be more connected.
  • 6. Move ~ People want you to move from one place / way of thinking to where they are.
  • 7. Insecure ~ They talk to gain confidence or at least perceived confidence.
  • 8. Thinking ~ People feel they need to talk to think. Not the most effective way to think.
  • 9. Destruction ~ The 9 D’s to the path destruction. They are headed there and will lead you.
  • 10. Intention ~ To accomplish something very specific with everything they say.

Does It Bother You ... 

Does it bother you when people answer questions you never asked and or don't answer the questions you do ask?

Why do people do this?

1. Poor Listening
What's interesting is that people often don't even hear the question you ask.  TIP:  Stop them and ask them if they heard the question you asked.
2. Fear
People often fear that if they answer your question, it will reveal something about themselves that they do not want you /others to know.  TIP:  Say ... "Hmmm, that's interesting ..." and then ask the same question again.  
3. Arrogance 
Often people think that they know more than you do and give you an answer to a question they think is a better question than you asked.   TIP: Maybe say ... "Wow that's a great answer to a different question than I asked ... so ... what ... (ask the question again)."
5. Low EQ
Low EQ (emotional quotient) is Emotional Intelligence where people give you a low level answer to a question you never asked.   TIP: Maybe just smile and say "Thanks."   
6. Sphere Of Influence
Often people who explain themselves, give a lot of details when we are asking a "Yes" or "No" question.  This indicates they are often surrounded by people who need explanation / lower level answers and they are just used to that.  
Maybe Try ... 
Try to have a bit of fun with people and ... ask them  the question that they already gave the answer to.  :-)  What's the strange ... is that they often won't answer the question they already answered.
Maybe try ... "Did you realize you didn't answer the question that I asked?"

"Any idea why?"
Remember ... and give some room as most people asking questions ... also have no real intention behind the question so people aren't used to someone actually caring if they answered a question.

Resolving A Conflict

" Longest Time To Resolve A Conflict "

Conflict

Why It Takes Long Time?

Resolving conflicts in marriages often takes a long time due to diverse perspectives and communication challenges. 

Deep-seated issues and intense emotions can complicate the resolution process. Reluctance to compromise and a lack of effective problem-solving strategies contribute to the prolonged duration. Patience, empathy, and a commitment to understanding each other are essential for navigating and resolving conflicts in marital relationships.
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